I was born the first of April to Queen Maria. While most royal births are cause for commotion, mine was especially so. This had less to do with me than it did with the fact the king had been dead two years at the time. There were many rumours about my father but I can tell you that he was not a good man. In fact, he was quite bad at being a man. Or a woman. Or anything else for that matter. Such is the way of primordial forces.
Maria must have bound him in some way before conceiving me but I have no idea how. She never had much luck binding me, much to her anger.
I have three siblings, all older. Well, I guess they were half siblings, born to the king and queen, but they were the only family I had. I don't consider the things my father made to be relations. My sister, Elizabeth, was the eldest and was groomed to take the throne from quite a young age. And then, between her and I in age, were the twins. Those two are quite different, for all they're both intelligent.
James has always been big, tall and broad. But more than that, he's charismatic if quite blunt. He's always been a diplomat and a tactician. He now serves as Elizabeth's right hand in peace and war.
Alex is his brother's opposite. He's small and slight, having been squished in the womb. He was born frail and grew slowly. He uses a wheeled chair when he must be outside his rooms. He's of an anxious disposition and fears what he doesn't know.
But don't let his physicality or manner deceive you; he's as vital to the queendom as his twin. He's a brilliant engineer and problem solver. Where James can efficiently direct troops, Alex can design a tool to make sending troops unnecessary. He was named head engineer years before Elizabeth took the throne.
I was not so lucky as to have a lawded role from a young age. Maria made it clear from the beginning that I was to be a weapon, a tool to expand the queendom and nothing more. And when I proved ornery and argumentative, she declared me a failure. When she wasn't ignoring me, she was berating me. She would order me to join the cooks or the gardeners while my siblings were being tutored. In a way I preferred the hard work to sitting in a classroom. And I could often sneak off to the woods or the hound run.
Luckily, my sister quickly understood my worth and more than made up for Maria's lackluster care. She snuck me sweets and told me of our ancestors' adventures. I particularly liked the stories of Nichole, who had been thought to be a boy in her youth. It was only when the goddess had acknowledged her as rightful queen that the court was forced to acknowledge her for who she was.
My mother is a witch. That's the first thing you've got to know. And she raised Elizabeth to be a witch too.
Once, when I was about four, I was playing tea party in the gardens. I had my bear and my rabbit and my dog and I was staying out of Maria's way. As I was pouring the tea, I saw a thing watching me. I had seen things before but never one quite like this.
It was tall and dark. It's shape was approximately that of a cloaked figure but the edges were a little too fluid and tendrils of darkness kept sprouting from the form. It stood still in a way no living thing could stand, despite the constant unraveling of its shape.
The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. And yet I was royalty, sort of, and so knew my manners. I walked up to the gate separating us and stuck my hand through. "Hello," I said. "I'm Kathrine."
The thing cocked its head and all the tendrils went still for a moment. Then it slid forward and a pitch black hand extended from beneath the cloak. It grasped mine and I shook it, firmly but not aggressively just as James had shown me. Touching that thing's hand was like touching nothing, the most solid, intense nothing I had ever felt.
I realised I was just standing there with my hand through the fence. I cleared my throat and glanced around for something to say. "Would you like to join my tea party?" There, I was Minding My Manners like Maria always insisted. The thing went still again before flowing through the fence.
I trotted back to the table and rearranged my toys to make an extra space. It reached the table and became shorter so that the hood was on a level with my face. I sat and returned to pouring the tea. "I guess you can have Duke doggo's cup. I only have four cups you see. The set used to belong to Elizabeth, that's my sister. She's the oldest. She gave me the set for my third birthday. I'm four now. The other two are lady long in the ear and Sargent grizzly. I like your…..cape? Is it part of your body? Do you have a body? I think I'm going to call you Sin. It means absence or without. And that's what you are, aren't you? A void beast?"
As I chattered, it reached out a tendril that no longer looked much like a hand. It raised the cup to its hood when I did and would occasionally incline it's "head" in an affirmative.
I grinned at it. It was a very good listener and didn't tease me like my siblings did. And it was actually playing along with my tea party! "Do you want to be friends?" I ask. "I think we could be very good friends. Here, hold out your hand." I grab the ribbon from my hair and wrap in around my wrist and then the proffered tentacle. In the language of the wild I state, "from the source of all things, by the power of strength and trust, we will be forever bound."